14 April 2009

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ashlei

I got a phone call at about three o'clock in the morning on April 14th - Ashlei had coded. I remember I didn't even really react because in my mind it was another obstacle we would overcome. The second phone call was that she was stablized and in ICU - I told Milton, "I knew it! I knew she was still here!" The third phone call was that they couldn't keep her stablized, and the last phone call was from Heber. The doctors told him they had to stop - what should he do. It was at that moment that I knew...we had to let her go. I had made the decision to keep my faith strong; I would not falter; I would not doubt - until the last breath was drawn - and I didn't. I miss Ashlei so much that at times it is overwhelming. The heartache and the sorrow and the pain are almost too much to bear at times. But where else? Where else can one feel such peace and comfort, and even joy in the midst of such overwhelming sorrow? Only in the Gospel of Jesus Christ ! I have never been more sure of Heavenly Father's very profound and personal love for each of us. I have never been more sure of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. There is never a moment of depair that is not tempered by a sweet peace and comfort from the Spirit. I am thankful for the Plan of Salvation, for my testimony that life is eternal, and that families are forever!