The Blog Thing Continues

Sarah told me she tagged me in this blog thing, but I've gotten really bad about keeping my blog up. Well, here I am and here goes:

1) I STILL, even at this point in my life, have issues that stem from being a foster kid, and from coming from the family that I originally came from.

2) I've been in Texas for twenty-seven years and I have only gone home a handful of times. I blame it on Milton, but most of the times I could have gone home I made the choice not to go.

3) Since Ashlei's death I have struggled with my testimony. A lot of things I have always believed and knew, and kind of took for granted - I'm just sure anymore. I've been running on faith these past seven months. I really want to KNOW again.

4) One of my pet peeves is to have both sides of the sink piled with stuff. We have a rule here by golly - keep one side of the sink clear!

5) I want to write a novel (well, not just one) and be a best seller.

6) I want to be a Nurse Practioner (no, not a doctor) I'll work with Sarah!

7) I have a goal to get to my ideal weight by the time I'm fifty. (I have three years and five weeks!) Then I want to do the P90X and be a HOT momma!

8) I feel that I have no control over my own life. I don't run anything - it all runs me. My finances, my weight, my kids, the house I live in, still being in Odomville...my kids tell me to take control and make a change, but I feel powerless.

9) I have NO friends (my kids excuded). I really don't. I even pray and ask Heavenly Father for a friend - pretty sad, huh? To clarify - I mean a friend to talk to every day - about anything, a friend that I go do things with, a friend that makes as much of an effort to be my friend as I do to be their friend. To be fair - a lot of the blame is my own.

10) I have always wanted to play the violin. I still do, and one of these days I will pursue that goal!

This was actually not as difficult as I thought it would be. I really thought about it and hope I surprise some people - I tried to dig deep.

Oh yeah - list ten things and then tag seven people.

Pine Hill

I'm in Bellville at Pine Hill Stable with Megan this weekend. Emelie and Megan's friend Chanice are here too. Megan is in her first Eventing competition. There are three "tests" in Eventing: Cross Country Jumping, Stadium Jumping, and Dressage. Megan is riding Kamo - short for Kamokazi Ed! He's about twenty-three and has been doing this for a long time. They take good care of each other!
Last night she ended up "schooling" on the cross country jumps. That was interesting. I have a few really good shots and will get them uploaded when I get home to my own computer. Today will be competition in Dressage and Stadium jumping.
We are actually staying in Sealy which is about fifteen minutes from Bellview. It's really a nice little town just northwest of Houston. I love this part of Texas - near Navasota and Brenham. There's a lot of history here - I love that! All these little towns are so neat because they're very old and still have that part of town, and then you come to the new and developed part of town with Wal-Mart and countless restaurants and fast food! It's an interesting combination.

One Down - One To Go!

I went with Emelie on Monday (20th) to her consult with the surgeon and poof! Her gallbladder surgery was scheduled for Wednesday morning. Dr. Runyon is the doctor - he's awesome - you gotta love him! She came through wonderfully though a little sore and painful. Yahoo for Lortab! She said the most awesome thing was waking up with no nausea and actually feeling hungry.
Sarah has her appointment next Tuesday. I hope they'll do her surgery soon; she is in so much pain every day now. She between a rock and a hard place cuz if she eats she's in pain and if she doesn't her blood sugar bottoms out.
I remember those days. I was thirty when I had mine out. It seems gallbladder patients are younger and younger - a tribute to fast food and unhealthy eating.

September's Been Busy!

Wow - this month has been busy! It started with the birth of our third grandbaby, Lindon, on September 2nd! He wanted to come out foot first so he came per C-section. It was different than Claire's birth - a lot quieter. Then Jace turned three on the fifth, and had a really fun birthday party. We were all there - including all of Ashlei's family. I love it when we have both families together; that's the way it should be. Then, the tenth was Sarah's birthday. Her and Kevin were really sick, so we didn't go that day. We went down on Sunday instead, and took a cake. We were all there except Milton who was at the hospital with his dad. It was a lot of fun. It's neat to sit back and watch my kids interact - talking and laughing, and Claire and Jace would do funny things that cracked us up! It was a great day!
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Our Weekend With Jace: All Boy!

I LOVE this picture

You might be a redneck if...

Your grandbaby is swimming in a trough!

He had a blast!

I can't figure out how to move this picture to the bottom - he made it in the water!

So Cute!

He loved being dipped in the creek! He kept saying, "Jace's turn" - he wanted to do it over and over. I think he would have loved it if we just dropped him in - NOT!

He wanted in so bad!

Jace and Auntie Em: even a boy can appeciate the sweet smell of flowers!

He loves to pretend he's a puppy!

He loves to play in that cage!

Wow - Heber's Twenty-five!

Heber, my second born, turned twenty-five on Saturday. A quarter of a century - wow! He didn't want to do anything on his birthday. He told me several weeks ago that he wanted just one thing: Ashlei. I'd give just about anything if I could give him that.

So, we swooped down upon him Sunday evening. We were all there except Milton cuz he had to work. We took taco salad, cake and icecream, and a gift. It was a lot of fun! We ate, talked, laughed, made a lot of noise, and just really enjoyed being together.

There is nothing in this life more precious, more important, or that can bring more happiness than family.

I love you guys!

My New Client

I have a new client. She's a forty-nine year old woman with terminal cancer. She's on Hospice, and we are there providing a personal attendant. She is AMAZING. She lives in a shack- she has almost nothing - and probably never has. When I sit with her in her little bedroom there is nothing but a calm and peaceful feeling. She talks about dying without reservation; she speaks candidly and honestly. I told her today how amazing she is, and she told me nobody has ever told her that before. Wow. What an example she is to me of faith and strength.

I am better because of her.

Chalk It Up To Hormones

So...my life is boring and unimportant, and who cares anyway?

A Good Day

This past Saturday Emelie and I hit the road and spent the day in Vidor. First we went to Heber's house. I had a check to take to him. We bought his car, a 2007 Haundai Sonata - way more comfy than my little Neon. We spent a couple of hours there playing with Jace, visiting with Heber and Jarom, and going to Wal-Mart. I took Jarom and got him a new white shirt, and a tie for church. He also needed a new belt since he's gotten so skinny...well then he needed new shoes to tie it all together! I'm told he looked nice at church on Sunday!

After we left Heber's house we went to Sarah and Kevin's house and visited there for a few hours. We played with Claire, and just chilled. It was very relaxing. About the time we were going to leave a storm moved through. It was just enough to wait it out, but it brought some much needed rain, so we were thankful for it.

After we left Sarah and Kevin's house we headed to Silsbee. The plan was to eat at Casa Ole, but half of Silsbee was out of power and a lot of the businesses were closed. We ended up literally driving all the way around Silsbee and ended up back at Chili's! It was great as usual!

We also had gone to Wal-Mart. Milton needed something to fix Megan's headlight, and I ended up getting a couple of Nintendo DS games for my "new" Nintendo DS Megan gave me. I got her the new Nintendo DSi for her birthday, so I inherited her old one. It's pretty fun, though I played it so long the other day I got a Migraine headache! The DSi is really neat! It's a game system, a camera, and you can access the internet from it - very cool!

Independence!

We had planned a big Fourth of July thing with the family - get together, cook out, hang out, pop some fireworks - but nobody seemed to want to do it. We ended up all meeting Thursday night at Chile's in Silsbee and eating dinner together. It would have been perfect if Megan had been there - she had to work. It was a lot of fun though, and we decided that would be our get together.

Heber, Jarom, Jace and I went to Vidor last night to take some of Heber's stuff, and for us to see where his apartment is and to see the apartment itself. It's actually a duplex and is very nice. It's so brand new that it's not even complete yet. It's going to be much better for Heber to be WAY closer to work, and Sarah and Kevin, and Marcus are right there too. Plus - it's SO MUCH closer to everything. I know it's even bigger than that though...it's progress for Heber to be ready to make this move. I'm glad of that - for him - not for me! It has been a blessing for us to have Heber and Jace at the house. We've had an opportunity to get to know and really love Jace, and I do love him so much. He's a choice little boy. Sooooo sweet! I'm going to miss them both.

What A Week...

Today marks the two month annaversary of Ashlei's death, and this Wednesday would have been her twenty-third birthay. This should be quite a week. I feel so...I really don't know what. Hhmmm...

Lucy

My friend D'Anna from work called me one night and asked if Jarom might want an Iguana. Of course he did, and that was fine with me - I figured it would be a little thing like you see at the pet shop...NOPE! It's HUGE! She's actually very pretty and looks like she has turquoise beads on her so we named her Jewel. At work, we were petting her and D'Anna was picking her up - nothing. We got her home and she tore Heber and Jarom up - she scratched Heber and whipped Jarom with her tail - it even left whelps! Well...her name was changed to Lucy - short and feminine for Lucifer! She's calmed down a lot, and she really is beautiful. She eats spinach leaves and a romaine lettuce blend.

In The Garden

Jace loves to go to the garden and see the corn. It has grown so much it's even taller than he is now! We planted thirteen or fourteen rows of sweet corn - can't wait till it's time to pick!

Flooded In

As you can see the water was just about up to the mailboxes a couple of weeks ago. We couldn't see the bridge and couldn't even drive the trucks across - it was too deep. We had to walk across "the river" - the boys had a fun time with it!

Going For The Dunk!

Jarom loves to play basketball, and used to practice by himself for hours. Now that Heber is here he gets to play a lot of one on one. These were taken one afternoon when he was playing around!

Our Little Nerd!

Jace put Megan's glasses on one evening, and had us cracked up!!! The more we laughed - the more he hammed it up!!! He's a cutie!!!

14 April 2009

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ashlei

I got a phone call at about three o'clock in the morning on April 14th - Ashlei had coded. I remember I didn't even really react because in my mind it was another obstacle we would overcome. The second phone call was that she was stablized and in ICU - I told Milton, "I knew it! I knew she was still here!" The third phone call was that they couldn't keep her stablized, and the last phone call was from Heber. The doctors told him they had to stop - what should he do. It was at that moment that I knew...we had to let her go. I had made the decision to keep my faith strong; I would not falter; I would not doubt - until the last breath was drawn - and I didn't. I miss Ashlei so much that at times it is overwhelming. The heartache and the sorrow and the pain are almost too much to bear at times. But where else? Where else can one feel such peace and comfort, and even joy in the midst of such overwhelming sorrow? Only in the Gospel of Jesus Christ ! I have never been more sure of Heavenly Father's very profound and personal love for each of us. I have never been more sure of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. There is never a moment of depair that is not tempered by a sweet peace and comfort from the Spirit. I am thankful for the Plan of Salvation, for my testimony that life is eternal, and that families are forever!

My Poor Neglected Blog

I have really neglected my blog because of my obsession/addiction with facebook! My goal: do not neglect my blog anymore! My greatest weaknesses I think are sins of omission - all the things I should be doing or doing better that I don't - and not using my time like I should. My goal: do what I should be doing and do it better - and stop wasting so much time. Simple, huh?! So...I'm going to get off the computer now - I got things to do!

The Dinglehopper

So there we were in Chile's. Emelie and I had picked Claire up in Beaumont to bring her home for the rest of the weeked, so we decided to take her to lunch at Chile's in Silsbee cuz I had to go to Wal-Mart. While we're sitting at the table waiting for our order Claire picked her dinglehopper (fork) and proceded to comb her hair. Auntie Em's mistake: taking the dinglehopper from her and telling her she was not to put it in her hair cuz she would be eating with it. Poor Claire was devastated. She cried huge tears and wanted her dinglehopper and wanted to comb her hair with it! Of course Gammy (that's me) says - let her have it and let her do whatever she wants to with it. Do I spoil her? YES! Do I apologize for it? NO! Does Claire watch an awful lot of Disney Princess movies? Maybe. I can tell you this though - she's pretty smart and has an amazing imagination for a two year old. We should all have a dinglehopper!

Being the Instrument!

Last Friday was a horrible day at work. My entire day was spent on the phone with APS (adult protective services) and the state, filing a report that should never have been filed. Without breaking too many privacy laws - a complaint was made against an attendant when the family was already aware of the problem and knew way more than the attendant ever could have. Anyways...there are rules to be followed when you file one of these reports - an important one being that it has to be filed within twenty-four hours - and here it was Friday evening.

I began faxing my report at 4:40 pm and by 5:00 pm the fax number was still busy. 5:10 - still busy. I called my supervisor - whining just a little bit - about the fact that the fax number was still busy and I had been trying to fax for thirty minutes. She was going to be in the office the next morning and said she would send it then, but there was that danger that it may not go through before the twenty-four hour mark. They are pretty strict about that - the fines are pretty stiff if the report is not filed just right.

5:15 pm finds me praying for this fax to go through. I explained to Heavenly Father that I had a time line that had to be followed - AND - I wanted to go home :(

At 5:20...the fax went through! This time - a prayer of thanks! At 5:21 I get a call on my cell phone. It's my friend Trudy. We work together and also I'm her visiting teacher. She is just up the road out of gas. I have the opportunity to serve. I pick her up, we get the gas, her truck is running, and she's able to get home.

Coincidence? Luck? I don't think so. It's an amazing experience to be the instrument in Heavenly Father's hands. I'm thankful my fax took forty minutes to go through. I'm thankful I was at the office instead of at home just when Trudy's truck ran out of gas. Wow!

Megan's Famous!

This article was in our local newspaper, The Tyler County Booster, last week! Hopefully you can read it cuz it speaks for itself!!!

It's Twins!!

Emelie raises Pygmy goats - they are so cute cuz they are so small! All of her nannys are pregnant, and the first of the babies were born today - TWINS!!!

Our Weekend With Claire

Yahoo! We had Claire for the weekend! I talked to her at some point during the day on Friday and made the mistake of asking her if she was coming to Gammy's house and what would we do. She was ready to go! Her mommy explained to her that she would be coming later and I could hear her say tearfully, "Okay" :(

Finally the time arrived and I met Sarah and Claire at Wal-Mart in Silsbee. After we - well Kevin - loaded everything in my car, Claire and I went into Wal-Mart. It was so fun! She was waving and telling everybody we saw, "hello"!

When we got to the house the first person we saw was Jarom. Claire stopped in his bedroom doorway and announced, "I"m here! I'm here, Uncle Jay! I'm here!" He was on the phone and kind of ignored her which broke her heart. She melted into tears - Uncle Jay had to do some quick repenting!

The whole weekend was filled with fun and laughter. We are always amazed by how cute and smart she is! Do I sound biased??? Anywayz...it was such a fun weekend - as always - when sweet little Claire comes to visit us! I'm so thankful to Kevin and Sarah - they are so generous to share her with us from time to time!

When I took her back to Silsbee to meet Sarah - she cried for Gammy. That was cool!

A Day in the Life of Ashlei

I went to Houston yesterday and took my daughter-in-law, Ashlei, to the doctor - at MD Anderson. This was our day:

We arrived at the MD just before noon for blood work. They took her pretty fast actually. She has a port in her upper left chest, so drawing blood is pretty quick - and no sticking her! Then, we had two and a half hours to waste.

So...we found a quiet place and Ashlei went to sleep. I told her to feel free to sleep - she couldn't keep her eyes open. I don't have to be entertained - I'm there for HER. She got a really good nap of which I'm so glad. While she slept I read and texted back and forth with Sarah.

We stirred around about two o'clock and went the the cafeteria to get something to eat - cheese fries! This whole two years Ashlei has been sick eating has never been a problem until the last few months. She is literally skin over bone, and she was tiny to begin with. She was hungry for the cheese fries, but only ate a couple of them.

Next, we went back up to the eighth floor to see her doctor. The appointment was for 2:30 and we only had to wait about forty-five minutes. That is amazing considering it's normal to wait two or three hours. Her doctor is Dr. Thomas. Dr. Thomas is one of the best at MD Anderson in Lymphoma and Leukemia. She is very anal - which is a good thing really! After one treatment the cancer is significantly reduced. Ashlei's labs were O.K. considering...her white count was 1.7 - the norm is 5 - 10 so her immune system is pretty compromised. Her platelets were 16 and the norm for that starts around 400, so we had to go downstairs for platelets.

They scheduled her platelets for four-thirty and we got started about six o'clock. Once they had them hanging it went pretty fast. You can actually run platelets in a short amount of time. We left the hospital about seven o'clock and got back to her place a little before eight. I got home a little after ten.

This is her life: appointments, tests, treatments, appointments, tests, treatments, etc. I cried half the way home. It breaks my heart that my sweet twenty-two year old dtr-in-law is going through this trial. It's so hard to see her so frail and weak, and generally - she just does not look good. It's hard to keep the faith, but I am determined to do that.

I'm thankful for my testimony of the atonement, and for my testimony that Heavenly Father has a plan, He is in control, and "All is well. All is well."

News in a Nutshell

I have really neglected by blog cuz I'm so hooked on Facebook! I really want to keep it up though, so here is my news - in a nutshell!

I have been busy busy busy with work, church basketball, school basketball, church meetings and activities, etc. etc. etc. I'm such a homebody and to be running the roads everyday and getting in late at night is threatening to cause a serious meltdown!

I'm going to Houston today to take Ashlei to the doctor. She's had one Chemo treatment so far, and her test results have come back positive. Her bone marrow has gone from five percent cancer cells to less than two percent -yahoo! Also, her MRI was good, but that's all I know about that.

Heber's deployment will be over soon, and then he will finally be able to move to Houston. I'm so glad because they have been separated for about nine months. I think Ashlei has been back to Oklahoma two or three times, and Heber comes to Texas as often as he can, but it's not the same as being together. I keep praying Heavenly Father will bless the doctors and guide their every move. I want her to get well and live a long happy life so badly, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and I have faith in that.

My baby, Jarom, turned sixteen yesterday - wow! He's so tall and handsome - I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming. I see a spiritual strength in him and he is heading in the right direction. What more could a mother want?! I noticed on his Facebook he said his birthday sucked - that makes me sad. It was a crazy day.

My mom and dad are eighty-three years old. Poor dad is most likely in early Alzheimer's Disease or some kind of dementia. I'm so thankful it has happened at this stage of his life and not say - ten years ago. He has always been so strong and healthy and full of life. My mom had a heart attack and stroke two weeks ago. She's like a Timex though - she takes a licking and keeps on ticking! She's doing really well! She left the hospital and went into a nursing home - to rehab. She tells me the therapists are working her pretty hard!

So...that's the scoop of lately. I STILL need to get Christmas pictures up!

Life Is Good

Not a whole lot of spectacular news these days. I could download some pics and get caught up Christmas, etc. But...

We are blessed! Life is good!!!

Ashlei Update

Ashlei started Chemo again last Wednesday (New Year's Eve). She stayed a few days cuz she is in a clinical trial and they like to monitor things. She came home last night and is feeling pretty rough. She's always had a good appetite, but not for the last few weeks. The doctor says it's all good and we're not down yet. We hold onto our faith and we keep praying!

Hooked A Big Fish!

We had pictures of the big fish hook in Jarom's shoulder, but it mysteriously disappeared from my camera and from the computer - hhmmm.

He and his friend Ronnie had gone fishing and somehow Jarom got hooked. I figured there had to be SOMEONE in Odomville who could removed a fish hook...nope! We ended up in the ER - can you believe it? After the doc numbed it up he proceded to remove the hook which turned out to be not an easy task.

I had to look away - me - I LOVE blood and guts! It was my baby though and to see the doc literally digging and pulling was awful - I got queasy. After a little trouble the hook was out, the site was cleaned, antibiotics were given, and we were on our way home!

You know...the last these time these two guys got together resulted in a trip to the ER too!

My New Addiction

I have resisted joining Face Book or My Space for a while now. I won't join My Space ever because a couple of years ago President Petersen said to get off and stay off, and being a Young Women president that wouldn't be setting a real good example, huh?

So...I did a lot of asking around and finally decided to join Face Book - mostly because SO MANY people are on there. I LOVE it! I have found lots and lots of "friends", it's fun and easy to post pics and text, and people are more likely to comment on Face Book. I love the blog for keeping us caught up and I love Face Book for keeping us in touch!

Notice the really cute Face Book badge? I love it too!!! Heavenly Father was so thoughtful to let me wait until this time in the world to come here - I love technology!!! I love the internet, cell phones, iPods, digital cameras, etc, etc, etc!!!

Hoping Christmas was wonderful for all, and wishing all the best in the new year!!!